Trip Home

I’ve been slacking on the blog updates lately!

Recently, well like a month ago, I took a trip to Winnipeg.  It was my vacation time between projects, and a way for me to celebrate getting the Designer promotion.  It was a great trip and just what I needed.  My first night I went straight to the lake with my bro and his girlfriend and we met up with my Mom and uncle.  My brother picked me up from the airport and we drove out.  It was a good chance to catch up with him.  I’d kinda dropped the ball on keeping in touch with him the past few years but we’ve both been making more of an effort to keep up with one another lately.

Quad!

I hadn’t been out to the lake in years, so it was great to spend the night there.  We had hotdogs over a bonfire and just caught up.  It was really nice.  In the morning I went quadding too.  My mom and uncle spend most of their free time out at the lake, so it was good to hang out with them where they love to be.  I really miss being able to casually tag along to the lake with them.  I didn’t do it much when I lived in Winnipeg, but now I know what it’s like to miss family, so I really appreciated it when I can.

I caught up with friends as usual.  Had many late night conversations with Brett.  Tim was back in town so hung out with him.  Finally caught up with Andi, hadn’t seen her in years!  She’s a really busy person, and life got a little crazy for her, so I don’t hold it against her, just glad to see her again.  We even ran into Lauren, who I haven’t seen since my first visit back from Edmonton, back in 2008/09.  Had our traditional brunch with Ashley, went clothing shopping with Kristina, caught up with Nikki and Scott and their adorable daughter Zola!  Nancy bought me lunch for my Birthday too!

Old Friends

Traditional brunch!

KD Photobooth at the Apple store

Nancy bought my lunch for my Bday!

Italian sodas with Nikki

My Grandma threw me an awesome dinner for my Birthday too.  Got to see a bunch of my extended family.  Everyone wished me a happy Birthday and congratulated me on the promotion.  It was really cool of her, haven’t had a big Birthday bash like that since I was a kid!  And she got me a great gift!  There’s a place in Halifax called Duggers, it’s a world-renowned men’s clothing store.  Very classy, VERY expensive.  The owner is a friend of the family, so my Grandma arranged to get me a 200$ credit there.  I ended up using it to get a hoodie, and after tax it came to 260$…  But it’s a nice hoodie!  Was an awesome Birthday celebration, and it was amazing of my Grandma to put it together and top it off with such a great gift!

Planet Of The Apes with Dad, Step-Mom, Bro and his GF

On my actual Birthday my Dad and Step-Mom (I can call her that now that they’re married!) took my brother and I to see Planet Of The Apes.  I loved it, great movie!  After that I spent the night at my Dad’s.  My brother unfortunately couldn’t because he had school early the next morning.  My Dad and I stayed up extremely late talking about all kinds of stuff, and he actually ended up staying up later than me, which NEVER used to happen.

I had a bunch of video of the trip, but sadly my phone glitched out and I had to restore it to factory default and lost all the video…  If only iOS5 had been out, it would have been backed up to iCloud.  This glitch happened THE NIGHT BEFORE iOS5 came out!  Grrrr.

It was a great visit, and a good recharge after a long Crunch at work.  I’m already looking forward to my visit for Xmas!

By Design

This month a lifelong dream of mine came true.  After years of hard work and dedication, two moves taking me across most of Canada, countless hardships but also great memories, overcoming many self-doubts along the way, I was officially promoted to Game Designer.  Accomplishing something you've wanted your whole life makes you take stock of everything that led up to it...

I wish I could say I remember the very first time I played a video game.  I find it hard to picture any version of myself having difficulty understanding controls, not intrinsically knowing to go right in a side-scroller, knowing falling off the screen usually means death or that enemies are almost always killed by jumping on them.  But I imagine it must have been the case.  I do remember the era I got into gaming though.  I was exposed to it through my cousins, Bill and Rick.  Bill was especially into gaming.  I remember we'd go over and play Mario 1 & 2 for a while, and then our moms would play some NES spelling game together.  I even have a memory of going over to their place the night Mario 3 came out for the NES.  We were all so excited.  I remember finding a secret in level 3 and being so proud.  It wasn't long after that I got my own NES for Xmas.

From then on I was hooked.  And even from an early age I loved the idea of being able to design levels for the games I loved.  I'd see the game's levels and get ideas of my own I wanted to implement, but obviously this wasn't possible to an 8 year old kid in a time before internet offered all kinds of hacky solutions.  So instead I started drawing elaborate Mario levels in pencil in giant note pads.  I'd have entire games drawn, split into worlds and sub-levels.  Whenever my friend Tim would spend the night my Mom would drive to pick him up, and as soon as he got in the car I'd hand him the notepad and he's start playing through my "levels" right there.

As I grew up some games started coming out with level editors.  I remember finding an old NES game with Mario in it called Wrecking Crew, and I used to make levels for my brother to play.  Then I found a PC game called Jetpack, and again designed levels for Tim and my brother to play.  It was shareware and only let you save one custom level at a time unless you bought it, but I quickly learned I could move the level files to a  backup folder and just put whatever level I wanted to play/work on in the proper folder with the right filename.

When I was entering my teen years Duke Nukem 3D came out for pc.  And with it came the Build engine.  This was before the days of youtube training videos and online guides, the internet was still in its infancy.  But somehow I managed to teach myself the Build engine through trial and error.  I must have designed dozens of levels for that game.  By then Tim lived in Saskatchewan so once I'd finish a level we'd play it over the modem.  At first it was all deathmatch levels, but I started to find coop levels with NPC enemies really fun to build.

Eventually I decided to design an entire Duke Nukem 3D campaign.  12 maps that could be played either single player or coop with an over-arching story/theme etc.  It took 6 months but when I was done I played it with Tim and we had a blast.  I then submitted it online to several Duke Nukem 3D custom maps communities.  It quickly became one of the highest rated campaigns.

For a few years after that my level design hobby, and even gaming in general, took a back seat to teenage drama, girls, drugs, booze and music.  This lifestyle left me lost and directionless.  I was getting older and had no idea what to do with myself.  I knew I wanted to make something of myself, but I was also afraid of failure.  I tried once or twice to get back into Level Design as a hobby, but the tech had come so far I felt left behind and gave up.  For a while I tried to convince myself I was happy where I was, but it was a lie anyone could see through.  Then I found joy in photography and for a while tried to make a career out of that.  As I was beginning to see success I quickly realized I preferred it as a hobby.  Still, my sense of adventure and ambition was growing, with nothing in sight to spend it on.

I still didn't know what I wanted out of life, but I knew I wanted much, much more than I was getting out of it at the time.  I was in my early 20's now and hadn't made much tangible progress since I was a teenager.  I decided to take an epic road trip to try to find myself, and get some answers to these questions.  I went by myself, something that terrified me.  I'd been a pretty sheltered, dependent person my whole life so to do something this big by myself was scary.  And that was the point.

The road trip was a huge success, though I didn't realize it immediately.  When I got back I knew I'd grown, changed in some fundamental way.  I just couldn't quite define it yet.  But as the months went on I realized how claustrophobic I was feeling in Winnipeg.  I didn't fit in my old life anymore, and needed to get out.  I decided to move to Edmonton, for a change of scenery and a new experience.  I made some calls and my cousin Bill, who now lived in Edmonton, said I could stay with him.  This was the same cousin who'd let me come over and play his NES when we were kids, and now he was living in Edmonton working in the video game industry for a studio named BioWare.  He then told me he could probably get me an interview for a term tester position.  I still didn't quite know what I was looking for in life, or what exactly I had to offer, so I didn't recognize the opportunity I was being presented, it just sounded like a cool job for a few months.

I had a going away party with all my friends, had a dinner with my extended family, and prepared to leave.  At the time I assumed it would only be for a few months, but that would still be the longest I'd ever been away for.  When the night of my departure came, I packed as much of my belongings that would fit into my car and headed off.  I'll never forget that moment, walking down to my car with my friends, hugging them all goodbye as I got into my car, fighting back tears.  And as I drove off I watched them waving at me in the rearview mirror.  I think on some level I knew I'd never be coming back...  One of the hardest, most emotional moments of my life.

I arrived in Edmonton and got settled in, and started at BioWare.  Within a few weeks of working there I started to suspect this was what I was meant to be doing, and that I wanted to make a career out of it.  The first game I worked on was Dragon Age: Origins and I knew it was one I'd be proud of the rest of my life.

At the time I figured QA was good enough.  I'd gotten this far, and I shouldn't get "greedy".  I knew I wanted to be a Designer, but even after everything I'd been through recently and all the growing I'd done I still wasn't ready to believe in myself that much yet.  And maybe I was right not to, I had a lot to learn.  I had no idea how office politics worked, how industry in general worked, let alone this industry.  But I didn't believe I ever would, and that was a mistake, but one I would soon begin to remedy.

After a few months I knew this was something I had to do, and made the hard to decision that I would not be moving back home to Winnipeg.  I fought hard for a contract extension and then immediately set my goals to taking on more responsibility to prove myself for an eventual permanent full-time QA position.  By constantly volunteering for extra tasks, and making it known I was interested in QA Design (where your feedback is more about design elements than technical glitches) I was eventually moved to the PRC team.  PRC stands for Post-Release Content.  In this case I would now be working on Dragon Age: Awakening, an expansion pack for the original Dragon Age.  My role was now QA Design, and once the acting QA Lead moved on to another position I took on a lot her responsibilities, and was essentially doing the job of a full timer.  I was giving design feedback that was incorporated into the game, running my own meetings, training and assigned new QA Term Testers, etc.  I loved the new responsibility and the professional growth it afforded, and I really loved getting to give Design feedback.  I still wasn't quite ready to see what should have been obvious though, that what I really wanted was to be a Designer.

I was told several times they were looking to get me a full-time position, but honestly, BioWare was somewhat bloated, and the economy was in tough times.  EA instituted a hiring freeze, and I knew things were going to be tough.  That meant for me to get hired, someone else had to be let go.  I just kept on working hard knowing sooner or later, in some way or another, it'd pay off.  But then I also found out an EA policy stated that anyone on contract couldn't stay on contract for more than 1 year without 3 months off in between.  It was a policy instated to prevent the abuse of contract workers...  As Dragon Age Awakening was finishing up, so was I.  I'd managed to get my contract extended 3 months past my 1 year mark, the only term who managed to do so, but even then, my time came and I was let go for 3 months, though I was promised I'd have a job waiting for me once those 3 months passed.

I decided to go on EI for those 3 months since I knew I'd have a job waiting for me in 3 months, and looked at this as an opportunity.  I decided to spend my 3 months off learning the Unreal Engine.  As I mentioned, I'd tried it a few times before, but this time my cousin pointed me to some excellent free training videos (3DBuzz).  I forced myself to follow a strict routine of waking up by 10:00 AM, and spending most of the day learning the engine.  Within 2 months I was designing professional grade levels, and documenting my progress on Facebook, my blog, and other mediums, and got feedback from many people at BioWare.

When I returned to BioWare after my 3 months off I was put on the Content Team of Dragon Age 2.  I had several people comment that they'd been following my Unreal Engine progress and were quite impressed at how quickly I picked it up, and the initiative to do so during my 3 months off.  Chad moved out to work at BioWare as a term tester like I head, hoping to get into the Art Department, and life was going great.

Then, within a few months into my second contract another EA mandate reared its ugly head.  I, along with all the other QA Terms I'd been hired with now on their second terms, found out EA had a strict mandate that states no contract workers could be used more than twice on contract.  Again, a rule in place to try to prevent the exploitation of contract workers.  The idea was that if they were good enough to use twice, they should be hired.  Of course the hiring freeze was also still in effect...  So things weren't looking good.  But then 3 QA positions within BioWare opened up.  Two in Edmonton and one in Montreal.  I of course applied for all three.

The application process was pretty intense, mainly because so many people were applying.  I have to imagine close to a hundred people applied for the positions across all of BioWare's studios.  They made a short list of candidates after taking a preliminary test.  I was ecstatic to learn I'd made it to the short list for two of the three positions, the only person to do so.  The positions I was considered for was either the Edmonton Dragon Age position, or the Montreal Mass Effect 2 position.

Around this time I was also contacted by an old work acquaintance about a job possibility as a QA Lead at a smaller studio in Halifax called Longtail Studios.  While my goal was to get one of the BioWare positions, I wasn't about to turn down opportunity in an industry that presents it so rarely.

When the results came back from the BioWare hiring committee I hadn't been selected for either position.  I was told it'd been a very close call on both counts, but that didn't change the fact.  My options then were to either stay at BioWare as a term tester hoping for another position to open up, which I knew was incredibly unlikely, or pursue the Longtail Studios offer.  I obviously did the latter.  And after being flown out for an interview, seeing the studio and the city, the idea started to grow on me.  It admittedly felt like a consolation prize at the time, but a consolation prize was more than many of my fellow term testers at BioWare were getting, so I couldn't pity myself too much.  By then I was just beginning to believe MAYBE I had what it took to get into Design.  During my interview with Longtail I was asked what my long-term goals would be and I said eventually I'd like to try my hand at Design (I also said maybe Production, which I think I could be good at but would probably find much less rewarding personally, though certainly not financially).

Once I got the call telling me I was accepted, it was a whirlwind of change.  My start date was in 2 weeks...  I gave me notice to BioWare, started packing and making moving arrangements with Longtail (they paid for moving expenses), and getting everything in order.

I decided to stay in Winnipeg for a week before moving on to Halifax, so I left Edmonton early.  After a nightmare fiasco with the movers, Chad and said our goodbyes and I drove off, leaving Edmonton behind me.  This time I knew I'd probably never be back, and it was heart breaking, no easier than leaving Winnipeg.  I'd grown so much in Edmonton.  When I'd arrived I had no idea what I was looking for, or really even who I was.  Now I was leaving with a clear vision of myself and my goals.  Edmonton will forever be the city I found myself in, and I miss it to this day.

After a great week in Winnipeg it was off to Halifax.  I won't lie, I was terrified.  This was even scarier than moving to Edmonton.  This time I had no one I knew in the city to make me feel at home or show me around, and it wasn't for some low responsibility entry level job, this was a full-time salary position with some high expectations.  I was nervous!  The city felt much different than the prairie cities I was used to.  In fact working on a peninsula meant driving really didn't make sense, so I was forced to start taking the bus and eventually sell my car.  But as the months went on I began to realize I was not only capable at my job, but that it was really beginning to foster confidence in myself.  I'd implemented and rolled out a new bug database for the studio, handled relations with our off-site QA team in India, interviewed and hired new QA Term Testers, begun researching and implement ion new Agile Scrum software for sprint planning, and more.  And I was getting great feedback.

After my first project with Longtail Studios shipped, a PS3 Move dancing game Dance On Broadway, we had a wrap party.  During this party it was made clear to me by some higher-ups that I was definitely being eyed for Design after I'd volunteered to help the Design Department a few times in my down time.  I was excited, but also nervous.  After all these years and successes, I was still afraid I'd fail when it came to what really mattered, my lifelong dream of being a Game Designer.  But I didn't let it show, and expressed full enthusiasm for the chance.

I was put in the Design Department for our next project, the one I'm on now, an extreme sports game for Xbox Kinect and PS3 Move, Motion Sports Adrenaline.  I was eventually made the Acting Level Designer on the Extreme Ski tracks.  I spent the past five to six months designing some awesome tracks I can't wait for people to play.  All this was in a Junior position however.  My title within Longtail was still officially QA Lead, and I was still making QA Lead salary.  I helped hire and train more QA to replace me in my absence, but for the most part I was no longer in QA.  But this was an amazing opportunity to learn what exactly being a Game Designer meant, and to then prove that I had what it took, not just to the studio but to myself.

Our acting Lead Designer, Nick, mentored me, and I owe so much to him for doing so.  He really took a chance for me, and I think saw something in me before I fully saw it in myself.  As the project was coming to a close it was time for my probation review.  I don't want to get into specifics, but it was very positive.  I was told I'd done great work, given advice and direction on how to continue to grow as a Designer, a never-ending process, and then, at long last, officially promoted.  The kid who drew Mario levels in notepads, hacked Shareware games to make levels, and taught himself 2 game engines to design levels, was now officially a Game Designer.  Three years climbing within the industry paying off.  The countless pitfalls, self-doubts and legitimate reasons to quit along the way weren't enough to keep me from achieving this.

Not many people get to say they grew up to do the thing they always wanted to.  Not many people can say they truly love going in to work in the morning.  I don't know many people who wouldn't love to get paid to be creative.  And even though I worked my ass off to get here, and made countless sacrifices along the way, I still feel incredibly lucky.

Updating my LinkedIN profile I realized I think this is the first time I finally feel like I "made it".  I have a well-respected job-title in the industry I love, the work is extremely rewarding, and I get paid a handsome salary that I can live quite comfortably at.  This is the first time I don't feel like I'm just trying to get in, to prove myself.  For the first time I truly feel like I'm in, I'm here.  It's also the first time I've ever really felt like a grown up, a man.  A man covered in tattoos who makes video games for a living...

Sometimes I wish I could go back and tell previous versions of myself it was all leading here.  I could tell the kid who thought of Level Design as a hobby that someday he'd get paid to do it, the teen who was anti-establishment that he'd some day work at one of the few industries that accepts you for who you are.  Or maybe I wouldn't tell them at all.  because all that uncertainty and confusion is what drove me to search for more out of life.  It's what led me here.

I turn 28 this week and I'm a Game Designer.  This entry was written on a plane on my way to Winnipeg for a vacation.  Returning to where it all started.  To recharge between projects, and celebrate with friends and family.  And when I get back to Halifax, I will begin a new chapter.  One that starts with me as a Game Designer, and takes me to new places, presents new challenges, and new adventures.  I have plans for my career, and it's only just now beginning.

Winnipeg Trip

Sorry for the lack of entries, I’m still alive.  In fact I have a vacation coming up!  On Saturday I’m flying to Winnipeg for a week!  Will be good to see friends and family and unwind a bit after the crazy hours I’d been putting in on the last project.  It’s also to celebrate some good news, though I can’t quite announce it yet, but soon.

I plan on going to the lake with family on this trip.  Haven’t been to my Mom’s lake in years, and last time I was at my Dad’s lot was the week I spent in Winnipeg before I moved to Halifax!  It’ll also be nice to be in my hometown for my Birthday, first time since I moved back in 2008! Can’t wait!

One Year At Longtail Studios

I remember stepping out of the Halifax Airport with my luggage.  I remember it being a foggy night in a city I didn’t know.  I remember the extreme discomfort that came with knowing I wasn’t coming back to this airport in a few days or a week to depart.  I was in this unknown city, shrouded in fog, to stay.  I remember wondering if I’d made a mistake.

My first day at Longtail Studios was one year ago today.  When I stop and think about it I still can’t believe it’s been that long.  And then when I think about it again, I can’t believe it hasn’t been longer!

I remember that first day walking to the lobby and calling from the outside phone to get someone to let me in.  John, the Producer, set me up and my desk and told me what my first tasks would be, setting up a bug database and rolling it out to the team.  I was so intimidated.

I remember my first few months in Halifax I was crazy homesick for Winnipeg, which was weird since I hadn’t lived in Winnipeg in 2 years.  I remember there was a hotel ad in the elevator that listed all its locations, and one of them was Winnipeg, and just seeing the written word would always give me a pang of longing.

I remember waiting for my car and belongings to ship from Edmonton, staying in the corporate hotel in the meantime with a few coworkers I didn’t know yet.  I felt so overwhelmed I just hid out in my room the first few days watching tv on my iPad.

I remember first seeing the apartment I’d foolishly lined up without doing much research and quickly realizing it’d been unwise.

I remember my first real crunch during the final stretch of our last project.  I’d done crunch at BioWare, but nothing like this.  I didn’t need to go so intense on the hours, but I wanted to prove myself.  Not just to others but to myself.

Thankfully as the year went on things got better, and as I gained momentum a lot of good started to show itself.  I moved in to a nicer place, I caught up on my bills and suddenly got to enjoy the salary I was now making, I started making friends at work, etc.

I can’t believe it’s been a year.  One year ago I was excited to be starting at Longtail Studios as QA Lead, finally having a fulltime salary position.  And in only 1 year I’ve begun to make the transition to the Design department.  I haven’t actually done any QA work in months, it’s been passed off to someone else.  Getting an official promotion to Design would be a pretty big accomplishment for me, especially considering just over a year ago my goal was just to get a fulltime position, period.  And I can’t announce anything until it’s officially official, but let’s just say a pretty big blog entry will be coming very soon…

It’s been a big year, with some major ups and downs.  But I’m proud of myself.  Back in Edmonton, as Longtail began to look like a reality, I was overcome with fears and doubts.  I had those doubts echoed to me in the doubts of others, but I had to believe in myself and follow through.  This ended up being the biggest challenge of my life.  I moved to Edmonton on a whim, and stumbled into working at BioWare.  I was never given much responsibility there, despite fighting for it pretty hard by the end.  Moving to Halifax, on the other hand, was deliberate; there was no room for stumbling.  And after the initial intimidation that came with the responsibility, I flourished.

Longtail has constantly challenged me.  Every time I begin to get comfortable with where I am, I’m given more opportunity and encouragement to progress.  I’m constantly taking on new responsibilities, and learning new things.  I’m growing accustomed to the pace.  Change used to scare me, but that held me back.  Longtail has been pure opportunity for me, and I’ve learned to seize it.

It took some dedication and time to see it, but I realize now moving here for this job was the best investment I’ve ever made. It was an investment in myself.  And it’s paying off.  I’ve come so far in just a year, both professionally and personally.  I love my job, and I’m incredibly thankful to Longtail for all the opportunities it’s lavished me with.  I’m extremely excited for my future with the studio, and the continued growth it offers me. 

I can now say with absolute certainty, just over a year ago, when I stepped out of that airport into the fog, it was not a mistake.  It may have been hard to see through the mist, but there was a promising future ahead of me, and it’s still only beginning.

KD Halifax Video

As promised, the video of Kristina’s visit has been uploaded and here it is!  A great week!

I still can’t get over how clear my iPhone 4 video is! This entire video was shot, edited and uploaded from my PHONE!

KD Halifax

Well Kristina’s visit has come and gone.  It was a great week!  Work has been getting pretty intense and I was in desperate need of some chill time with a good friend.  I booked the days off months ago, but things at work had gotten pretty urgent so I was worried taking the time off would be a problem, but fortunately it wasn’t.  Really cool of everyone at Longtail to make it work.

After work I walked to the hotel next door and caught a shuttle to the airport.  It was great to see Kristina again!  One of the bonuses of making more money than I did at BioWare is getting to see the people back home more often.  I visited Winnipeg when I moved, then again for my Dad’s wedding, and helped pay for Kristina’s trip.  Any time a friend visits I’ll pay half way, figure it’s only fair!  (Next summer I want to visit Edmonton, and/or Vancouver too, depending on whether or not I still have friends living in Vancouver by then).

It was a great week!  We saw Transformers 3, watched a lot of Community, explored downtown and the waterfront, had a LOT of candy, went out for dinner, caught the gay pride parade with Heidi and then had beers, went to Dartmouth to do some shopping, rented a car and drove to Peggy’s Cove and caught the sunset then ate lobster, and more general silliness.  Like I said, it was a great week!

Got a lot of great pics over the week.  Including some great photography, especially at Peggy’s Cove.  I uploaded all the pics to Flickr, and they can be checked out there!  I’ll edit and upload the video to Vimeo soon too, and when I do I’ll post a link here.

Having Kristina here made me realize some things though.  Mainly that I’ve been out here for almost a year now, and yet I still act like I’m only visiting.  Having a friend here to explore the city with made it feel like a whole new city.  I didn’t feel like an outsider in it.  After living a year in Edmonton my social life was really starting to flourish, but I also thought I’d live in Edmonton for a long time, maybe forever if I got the fulltime job at BioWare.  After the second move I’m a bit more cynical about how long I’ll live anywhere, just the nature of the industry I work in.  But that doesn’t mean I should always be an outsider.  So I’ve decided to make a more conscious effort to build a life here.

When I dropped Kristina off at the airport we were both sad the trip was over.  But it was a great time, and she had to get back to her life in Winnipeg and I had to get working on mine here!

Places Lived

First time I saw this on my Google+ profile I found it pretty surreal…

Canada Day

I’ve now experienced Canada Day in 3 different Canadian cities!  I love this country.

My first 24 Canada Days were of course in Winnipeg.  And they were pretty awesome.  Winnipeg throws an incredible Canada Day, and the turn out is always incredible.  I have countless great memories of meeting up with friends and wandering around Osbourne and Corydon before making our way to The Forks to watch the fireworks.  One Canada Day stands out, when a bunch of us met up and eventually even got one of those gangster photo shoots.  A great memory.

I had 2 Canada Days in Edmonton.  Edmonton pulls out all the stops.  Whyte Ave is closed off to traffic and packed with people.  Then an artificial waterfall is created on the High Level Bridge over the valley.  Then the fireworks.  Very impressive, and no doubt incredibly expensive!  Some great memories as well!  Sadly no pictures though, but here’s one of the artificial waterfall from google images.

Last night I had my first Canada Day in Halifax.  Halifax being one of the oldest cities in Canada, it’s a pretty big deal here too.  There’s a bunch of parades in the morning (which I missed since I worked late the night before), then buskers and shops lining the waterfront.  I stopped to watch a fire-breather for a while.  The city felt alive and I wondered around downtown and the waterfront before meeting up with a work friend and his girlfriend for a few beers.  Was a good time.  I stopped by work for a bit to get some things done, and then met up with work friends again to catch the fireworks.  The fireworks were launched from a barge in the middle of the harbour between Halifax and Dartmouth.  It was pretty awesome.  Getting home was a bit of an ordeal since it was impossible to get a cab and the busses were packed.  It took me over an hour, 2 busses and eventually a cab, but I did make it home.  When I got home Heidi (my new room-mate) and I played some Black Ops PS3 online, each on our own respective PS3s, with 2 of her friends.  It was a great Canada Day!

Infinite Ocean

It’s been cloudy in Halifax for almost a straight month.  Been missing the sunlight pretty bad, and today it finally came out for a while.  I’ve been using my elliptical a lot, getting back into a healthy lifestyle.  When the sun came out this afternoon after already doing a 430 calorie workout, I decided to go for a long walk along the waterfront.  I caught a bus and did just that.

Was a great afternoon.  The sun was fantastic after a month of gloomy weather, and everyone was out.  It reminded me of my first time in Halifax, when I was visiting for my interview at Longtail and had taken a long walk along the waterfront after the interview was over.  Standing on the same spot today, it dawned on me pretty soon I’ll have been here a full year…

I walked around the docks and had lunch.  Afterwards I sat on the edge of one of the docks and listened to a song off of Devin Townsend’s new album Ghost, very blissful relaxing music.  I sat there for 10 minutes just watching the sailboats navigate the waters, listening to this relaxing song.  It may have been the most peaceful 10 minutes of my life.

The Catalyst

Spent this morning reading through the old blog I kept during my road-trip back in 2008.  I can’t even fathom how much I’ve changed since then, as a result of that trip.

For years I’d felt the need to do something drastic, I felt trapped in my own life.  At first it was a North American month pass for VIA Rails, and eventually it evolved in to a road trip.  I invited my friends to come, and they agreed, but backed out at the last second.  Although at the time it hurt, I decided to go anyway and it ended up being better that way.  I needed to redefine myself, and you can’t do that with anyone watching.

During the weeks leading up to it, everyone including my closest friends and family tried to talk me out of it.  The Dale they knew could not handle something like this, especially alone!  They were just concerned, because it was so unlike me.  It was a big thing to do alone, it was intimidating and risky.  Not what I was known for.  And even though I had my own doubts as well, I stayed determined, and when the time came I got in my car and drove headlong into those doubts.

It’s no exaggeration to say that none of my major accomplishments could have happened without those 2 weeks alone on the road.  During those 2 weeks a seed was planted.  I started to suspect I was capable of much more than I’d originally thought.  During those 2 weeks I saw things I never thought I’d see, did so many things I never could have imagined myself doing, it made me realize all those limitations I’d placed on myself were illusions.

Suddenly I felt restless in my old life.  I knew I wanted more.  I decided to move to Edmonton for a change of pace and to get out of debt.  I never would have seen that as a possibility before the road-trip, but now it was something I had no doubt I was capable of.  Then working in the videogame industry watered that seed, and that suspicion grew into a conviction.  I was capable of so much more than I’d given myself credit for, and life had so much more to offer than I’d let myself see when I lived in doubt.

Reading that blog was a revelation.  In one of the entries before I hit the road, I wrote that I’d wanted this road-trip to be one of the most important things I ever did, a “spiritual odyssey, an existential exodus.”  And that’s exactly what it was.  Now I live in Halifax, I’m in a career I love and I’m climbing it fast, I welcome every new adventure presented to me with excitement.

I had no idea the places that road-trip would lead me, years after I thought it was over.  I end this entry with a quotation from that old blog:

“Well, even though I have enough money to make it to the East Coast, it wouldn’t leave enough time to properly enjoy the cities remaining on my trip, especially Montreal and Toronto.  So it looks like this is as far East as I make it for now.  But I’m sure I’ll make it out there some day!”

Mom

Today is Mother’s Day!  Unfortunately I didn’t get to talk to my Mom today because she is on a trip to Ottawa right now, but I left her a message wishing her a happy Mother’s Day.

When I was in town last week, unbeknownst to her, I bought her a gift card for bath salts, etc, and hid it behind one of the pictures in our living room hall.  On the message I left for her I told her where to find it.  I think that’ll be a cool surprise for her!

Now time to get a bit sappy;  I miss my Mom.  She’s a big part of my life, and it sucks only getting to see her a handful of times a year.  When I moved to Halifax, even though me leaving was a common thing by then, when she dropped me off at the airport I saw a few tears.  I’d been living in Edmonton for 2 years, so me leaving after a trip wasn’t anything to get too worked up over, so I took it to mean pride.  I was moving across the country to officially start a career.  That pride means more to me than she’ll ever know.

She visited me in Edmonton, and it was great showing her what my life there was like.  Giving her the tour of BioWare was great.  And this fall she’ll be visiting me in Halifax!  We may even take a trip to see Prince Edward Island!  I’m really looking forward to it.  I love visiting home, but it’s great to show her the life I return to when I leave Winnipeg.

My Mom reads this blog, so Happy Mothers Day Mom!  I miss you!

Airport Blogging

Airports are a familiar locale for me lately. Ever since things with Longtail started with a flight to Halifax for the interview, I spend about 6 days a year in airports and on planes. On a single-direction flight, like today's Winnipeg to Halifax trip, I see 3 to 4 airports (departure, arrival and layovers) and fly on at least 2 planes. I know Toronto Pearson International Airport like the back of my hand. The shoe shine guy remembers me whenever I decide to get a shine.

It's not like I'm some kind of crazy jet-setter living out of my suitcase, but it does give me a small window into what that kind of life would be like. I often overhear the flight attendants or pilots talking, forgetting what city they're in or what the local time is. I could see liking it, and hating it. I have no plans on going on tour for anything any time soon though, so it's all just fun what-ifs.

Today my layover in Toronto is 3 hours. I'm sitting in a cafe eating a hot dog and fries next to a window overlooking the tarmac. More than half the people here are using iPads.

I often meet people during layovers and have interesting conversation. Usually that's Toronto, but sometimes the layover is in Montreal too. There was one guy I met who was an admitted gambling addict who told me the story of the night he won 100,000$ and still managed to lose it all within the month. There was a couple from Germany who were traveling the world on her Dad's inheritance. A few creepers too who I regretted starting conversation with. I also have a frustrating habit of meeting really nice, cute girls on layovers. Frustrating because obviously nothing is going to come of it, once one of us has to leave for our flight we never see each other again. That's also kind of cool though, these spontaneous brief interactions.

You also see a lot of emotion in airports. The sorrow of a couple splitting for a long period of time, someone leaving their home for their ambitions, etc, but also the joy of couples reunited where they can't keep from crying and kissing like highschoolers, or someone returning from their tour of duty to their relieved family.

I should probably get out of this cafe and go to my terminal, boarding starts in a bit under an hour, and I want to get a seat in the waiting area before they fill up. I'll write an entry about my trip from Halifax, soon.

Dad's Wedding

My trip in Winnipeg has been a lot of fun, and I will write a proper entry about it soon. But the main reason I took the time off work, bought the plane tickets and an expensive three-piece suit, and then flew down was for my Dad's wedding!

During my last visit for Xmas my Dad announced to the family that he'd proposed to Andrea, his girlfriend of about 10 years! I can't believe it's been 10 years! I still remember when he first started telling my brother and I he was seeing a new woman. A girl at work had introduced them, that girl was my now-step-sister, Ashley.

Neither of them are religious, and they weren't looking for a major ordeal, so they had their wedding at a very nice restaurant named Bailey's. It was a beautiful wedding, friends and family, and it was a great time. My Dad was beaming all night, I'm so happy for him!

I had a decent role in the wedding, which I wasn't expecting. As the first born son I was at the head table. It was my Dad and Andrea, with me at my Dad's side and Andrea's best friend at hers. I held on to the ring, was part of a small procession including the 4 head table members led by Andrea's Dad on bagpipes. I even signed as a witness! Derek brought his new Digital SLR camera so I took some photos. Using it made me realize I miss photography, though just as a hobby. The photos are on my USB but I won't be able to upload them until I get home in Halifax.

It was a great night, everyone had a blast, and everything went perfectly. We took a limo to and from the wedding. My Dad gave a great speech that blew everyone away, with some great jokes. The food was amazing, I had a steak, and much alcohol was consumed. Family came in from all over the place including my uncle Keith and aunt Sandra and their kids Jordan and Abby.

The next day I went for lunch with my Dad and Andrea before they left for their Honeymoon road trip together. The previous night they'd stayed at one of the nicest hotels in the city, and they'd gotten a complimentary room upgrade to the biggest nicest room in the hotel, with candles and rose pedals spread all over the room. So happy for them. Andrea is great, and I'm glad to have her as a member of the family. Her son Andrew is cool, and now my step-brother. We're going to try to go for drinks before my trip is over.