Thursday, April 7, 2011



So many people I know are in dark times right now.  Struggling just to make it through the day, to make sense of their lives and hold together a narrative that makes it worth it.  I get so frustrated with life sometimes.  Is it supposed to be this hard?  Those good times and care-free memories seem so long ago.  A different life, or a dream.

I don’t care how unrealistic it is, or how naïve it makes me.  All this change and progress was supposed to be for something better.  But we’re all living in the reflected past or the seductive future.  The present is just something we bare.

When are the barbeques where we all get together and laugh and smile?  When are the long drives and sporadic adventures?  The late nights and long weekends?  This journey had a goal.  There was supposed to be a destination.  When do we get to meet each other at our best? 
What happened to the love that used to fill our lives?

I can’t stand seeing the people I care about so tormented by their demons, or their circumstances.  Worse, I can’t stand seeing it from a distance.  Everyone’s waiting.  There’s so much separation.  I miss them.  I miss who I was with them.

Everything is so different now, we’re all so fragmented.  We left it all behind to find something better, but now we’re just looking to get it back.  I want it back. 

I miss my friends.


TimRedford said...

Miss you too man! Persistence is a virtue, but a foolish persistence is the hobgoblin of little minds. Which one is it? lol I like that there's a challenge involved in figuring it all out. If we could have it all at the snap of our fingers, what would we do with the rest of our lives? You are right though, friends make it all worthwhile. The only thing I know for sure is to enjoy the process and never be too proud to course correct.

Dale Furutani said...

Too true friend, too true. I absolutely love my job, and I'm not looking to leave or anything. I just find my life is lacking that social side I so value, and it seems like so many friends are in a stage in their lives where their ambitions take them from home and the people they love. Almost all my friends are in this 'limbo' right now too. It's frustrating sometimes, something I'm sure you can relate with.